SLEEP-o-METER: As of this morning, I am operating on 4 hours sleep. I will start to keep track of my accumulated hours of sleep, just in case my body is found in a South Beach water canal.

SLEEP-o-METER: Operating on 8 hours sleep over two days.

I packed my computer into my backpack and walked 10 blocks to Kinko's for some last minute printing. Of course, I ran into all kinds of problems. Kinko's sucks. I am now 4 hours late to arrive to my first party of the conference, which just so happens to be the party my company is presenting, The Conscious Party, a benefit for Earthdance International.
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Cool! Good thing I was late to my party, because on the way there, sitting at an outdoor bar were my friends, two amazingly talented DJ/Producers, Rich Alick and Brian McGuire. Brian lives in L.A., but he's from Austin and recently starred in a kick-ass film called "Sexless", which won the audience & jury award for best narrative feature at SXSW!

(Note instered after I got home: Brian's new track "Yesterday At School" was rated #1 out of all new tracks heard at WMC2003 by DJ Magazine!)

When they spotted me, Brian stood up and shouted, "I'm in Miami & I'm drunk! -- Woohooooo!" Imagine, in town only minutes and he was already 10 sheets to the wind. "I'm so wasted." Brian kept saying. And for Brian to be so damn aware of how wasted he was, he obviously was not wasted enough. Seeing my old friends put me in a much better mood, and I decided to forget about the Conscious Party for a few minutes and escape from my own consciousness a while with a beverage or two.
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We hopped in a cab with a couple of other friends for one of the most surreal cab rides EVER. I was sprawled out in the back seat across the laps of 4 people. Brian sat in the front seat and told the cab driver that he thought he was scary looking. Brian then whipped out his drivers license and they did a side by side comparison. Brian suggested that they were both really scary looking and that they would make a great team. A great team of what? I dunno. That's about the time when "Sweet Child O' Mine" came on the radio. The cab driver cranked it up, we all started to sing the tune in unison and then the entire cab began to swerve to and fro down Collins Ave as if it were channeling Axl himself. Grinding right along at WMC in South Beach... to Guns n Roses... WTF? Anyhow, the cab fare was free - I guess because the driver and Brian now had some kind of "team" thing going
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We got to the party at 5pm. As it turned out, the party had literally just begun, also 5 hours late. This is when I started my understanding of "Miami time." Upon arrival, I had a great conversation with Chris Dekker, the founder of Earthdance and founding member of Medicine Drum about bringing Earthdance to Texas!!

DJ Mea was playing inside. She is one of the hottest DJ's on the face of the planet. I couldn't decide if I wanted to dance or just stand and stare at her... lookin' all sexy in a bright orange bikini and shiznit. I decided to take some pictures to stare at later so I could focus on dancing to her infectious beats. It was a difficult task, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

Brian & Rich turned in a phat and funky tag-team set opening up for Mark Farina, who had the joint jumping.

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After their set, Rich and I then went over to the Global Alliance party at Club Level. The mostly drum and bass/breaks lineup at Club Level included Monk (Rabbit in the Moon), Wish FM, Keoki and Deepsky (DJ set). Out of the 49 acts scheduled for this party, the one real treat was a live set from Jackal & Hyde.

Jackal & Hyde have been around since 1998, but they were new to me, and quite simply, I was seriously impressed. They look like something out of the goth-industrial scene. Their sound is part progressive breaks and part industrial - electro - techno. Whatever it was, it made me want to dance. Eventually we left and worked our way back to our hotel where we passed out at around 6am.

Wednesday, March 19
Woke up at 10:30am to the subwoofer again.

SLEEP-o-METER: Operating on 12 1/2 hours sleep over 3 days.

Worked my way over to the Wet Grooves party. Danny B is a D.J. and promoter out of L.A. and is responsible for events like Club Naked, which had a home in Houston for a while. He always has the best looking people at his parties. This was no exception. And this one was at a pool. God bless the combo of Danny B and a pool. The lineup was the bees' knees and included Tall Paul, Donald Glaude, Charles Feelgood, Skribble, Armand van Helden and Mark Lewis.

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They say God is a DJ. O.K., I'll buy that. If it's true, my money's on Donald Glaude.
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Does Armand van Helden ever wear a shirt? Some friends and I wear talking, and we swear we've never seen him without being able to see that big gold chain sandwiched in-between his man boobs.
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Went to The Dancestar Awards, and I'm feeling a bit weird about the whole experience. I mean, I think it's cool in some ways that our music is making some headway in being more accepted in the mainstream, but something about this event didn't sit right with me.

Here are some reasons:

On the red carpet, I found myself standing between a reporter and camera crew from 'Extra' and another from the Associated Press. Neither of them knew who any of the DJ's were. I found myself telling them who each person was as they would arrive. At one point, Christopher Lawrence spotted me and came by to say hello. I turned to the woman from 'Extra' and said "This is Christopher Lawrence, one of the top DJ's in the United States, he also was the winner of Best DJ at last year's Dancestar Awards." She curtly and silently smiled and quickly turned her attention to calling out to Cindy "The Most Downloaded Girl on the Internet" Margolis for an interview... as if Ms. Margolis had anything relevant to say about dance music.

The second happening that left a pretty bad taste in my mouth was DJ Sammy (of the most overplayed track of the latter part of 2002, "Heaven") winning the award for Best International Act. How that could happen when the nominees included Underworld, I just can't figure out.

The third and final nail in the Dancestar coffin was P. Diddy's performance of his debut dance track, "Let's Get iLL". Let's get ill, indeed. Talk about a title that is just asking for trouble. P. Didn't do much except for bounce around on stage to a stale, old beat, and every once in a while say "Let's get ill." Yo, stick to sampling, P.
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Rich and I walked what seemed like 10-15 blocks to club Maze, where two parties (Buzzlife & Foundation) were taking place. Miguel Migs had put me on the Foundation list, but the line was too long, and we were too tired to play the game, so we opted to let the Foundation party pass, and try our luck at the Buzzlife party, which was a benefit for EM:DEF (the Electronic Music Defense & Education Fund), which is extremely close to my heart, so I just had to get in.

The lineup included The Crystal Method (DJ set), Hybrid (DJ set), DB, Dara and Scott Henry. The only one we got to see was Crystal Method -- which I was fine with because I was so tired, the only thing holding me up was the bassline.

We got to stand behind the DJ booth and watch Ken and Scott work. They seemed to be having a really good time. They must really love what they do... either that or the Vodka-RedBull's were kicking in. It's too bad that Maze, as a venue, sucks piehole. The DJ booth is built into the second floor, where no one on the dance floor below could see the physical energy the boys were putting out. I'm just glad I got to witness this one from the booth.

Headed back to the hotel and fell asleep at around 6am to the sights and sounds of CNN and a first night at war. War sucks.

Thursday, March 20
Slept in till 10am. Subwoofer. Again.

SLEEP-o-METER: Operating on 17 hours over 4 days

Went directly over to the Iberican Sound rooftop party, thrown, in part, by my friends at Compass Global Music. This was the only party I attended that offered free wine and beer. I had both, thankyouverymuch, plus a puff of a peace pipe for breakfast. Damn, I'm hardcore. This was a fun party, even though it was hot as hell on a summer's day in the blazing sun with no shade to speak of.

During the time I was there, Late Nite Sneaky was hitting the drums & keyboard action, while the tribal house beats spun on the decks. It was good, wholesome, family fun. I danced my A off until I was dizzy. Must have been that nutritional breakfast. Note: It's always painful to see a DJ try to spin records while trying to somehow shade the decks so his vinyl doesn't melt mid-set.

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The call came at 2:45pm... "You're on the list - but the boat is leaving in 10 minutes. You better get out the door now." So, without saying goodbyes, I grabbed my things and dashed off the rooftop and into a waiting cab. We sped down the street as if I was trying to catch a boat that was actually going somewhere. With the yacht in sight, the cab pulled over and I made a run for the docks. I truly was the last person aboard. I climbed aboard, sweaty and out of breath and tried desperately to blend in with the natives.

Once we left harbor, I enjoyed more liquid nutrition, and a help yourself buffet full of assorted sushi. As I mingled, Paul Van Dyk's new Global cd/dvd was playing in the background. It was very good. I highly recommend it if you are a fan of PVD or trance. It features 12-13 of his best tracks, reworked and remixed, along with 72 minutes of dvd footage and other extras.

Now, don't ask how I got invited on this private yacht with only 50 people, PVD and me.

Paul, dressed in a baby blue tee that read "STOP THE WAR", sat down at a cd deck with a microphone in hand, and proceeded to pop one cd in after another and introduce 9 mostly finished, brand new, never been heard before, virgin tracks from his upcoming artist album, his first since the epic "Out There and Back". It was a joy to watch him play these tracks for us up close. He would rock back in forth with the beat, with a little smile on his face, and it was clear to me and anyone watching, that he really loves what he does - and really enjoys making music. All the tracks were pure, classic PVD. He provides new anthems for a new day at times, while being quietly epic at other times. Dance floors will be filled with ravers doin' the 'raver shuffle' to new PVD tracks in no time.

I had a chance to talk quietly with Paul for a few moments. I told him how there was a time, before I was raver, when the thought and sound of techno music made me cringe. I was brought to a party or a nightclub or two, and simply couldn't get into it. Then someone handed me a PVD cd... I listened to it -- it moved me to tears and I have been here ever since.

"To be honest," Paul said... "It's sometimes hard to keep doing what I do. But it is hearing things like that that get me through the hard times."

"Well Paul," I replied, "We'll call it even then, because your music has gotten me through some hard times, too..."

He smiled, we shook hands and he gave me a little hug. Then, as he walked away, he tripped over my feet and nearly hit the floor face first. This is totally true. Could you just imagine? I just don't think that I could've handled it if I had been responsible for PVD loosing all of his teeth or something a day or two before his sets at Space and Ultra. I have some kind of thing with this though... One time, I accidentally knocked Paula Abdul flat on her ass at a department store.
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Went to the Mixology party at Club Level with Rich tonight. Getting into Level can be a complicated mess. You've got to hand it to Kelly, the door girl for the Mixology party. The key here is patience. Don't hound the poor girl. She doesn't care who you are or who you know. She kept repeating "Yeah, buddy... well everyone here knows somebody and thinks they're on the list. You'll just have to wait like everyone else." So that's what we did, patiently waited until Kelly felt like looking my way and givin me some attention. Eventually she did. Now granted, some of the more pushy and obnoxious people did get in a long time before me, but not being an asshole felt good, and we even got a "Thanks for being patient" and a smile from Kelly -- and that made the wait worth it.

The only thing I want to talk about from this party, whose lineup included Seb Fontaine, Dave Ralph, Mistress Barbara and Mark Lewis, is Judge Jules.

Brilliant. Again, despite my serious lack of sleep all week, I couldn't stop dancing to this fool. Why he isn't just as big in the U.S. as he is in the U.K. escapes me. And get this my friends... he mixed his entire, flawless set... WITHOUT headphones. I stood directly behind him for most of it, and I am telling you -- no tricks, no cd's... and no flippin' headphones. Sheesh.

We shuffle step back to the hotel around 6am. Brian is back in the room and we swap stories from the day and pass out somewhere mid sentence.

Friday, March 21
Woke up around 10. Subwoofers suck... when you're trying to sleep.

SLEEP-o-METER: Operating on 21 hours sleep over 5 days.

Took it easy today. Kicked it around the hotel, the hotel bar and of course, the party in the hotel lobby. (One in every hotel lobby, courtyard or pool in South Beach!)
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Went to the Rise! Soundtrack release party. Listened to some house grooves from Tommie Sunshine. Saw some old friends, had a drink and took off.

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I tried to go to Contagious Music at Level. That "be courteous to the door person" angle didn't work for me tonight, so I decided to leave. Grabbed a $20 cab ride to see Paul Van Dyk spin at Club Space.

Club Space is a great venue. Probably the best sound system and layout in Miami. But there is one problem with having Paul Van Dyk at Club Space -- not enough SPACE.

Seriously - this was the highlight and lowlight of my entire conference experience. The man played a 4 hour set of the most emotionally charged, sublime trance on the planet, which managed to move me to near tears... partly because it was just that amazing, and partly because I had absolutely no room to dance. I found myself in a corner by a stack of bassbins and speakers, surrounded by hot, sweaty, scantily clad women and shirtless, sweaty, steroid chomping, muscle-bound dudes.

Half way through his 4 hour set, someone tossed something up at Paul. It was a U.S. flag with the stars forming a peace symbol. He stood up on a chair in back of him, and nailed it to the wall... the crowd went nuts. There is something about Paul's music that moves the soul. Taking into consideration what he had told me just the day before, I was even more moved.

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When it was over, I was SOOOO tired, I could literally not see straight. I was starving too... AND I had to be at the Crowne Plaza hotel at 9am to meet up with the cats from Formula PR, whom I was helping out at the Ultra Festival. Got back to the hotel room around 6:30am. Brian and his frequent tag team partner, DJ Nancy Cheng were there and blitzed to all hell. I mumbled something about being starving right about the same time Nancy said something about craving pizza. So, Brian decides to go get pizza. He tells me he's bringing me a slice -- that I need nutrition. This -- as I am fading out of consciousness. I tell him not to. He insists. I tell him please don't bring that smell back in here, I won't be able to sleep. He says ok, but that I should just be quiet and rest until they get back with the pizza. I watch as they both stumble out the door. I pass out immediately.

Saturday, March 22
About 20 minutes later, Brian & Nancy arrive with three brown paper bags, placing one directly by my face. "Fish Sandwiches", Brian says. "Get up and eat."

So, just going along with the insanity, I open up one of the biggest sandwiches I've ever eaten. An entire fish is laying there in between two slices of bread. I start to eat it with my eyes still closed. And then, suddenly -- I'm wide awake. I don't know if it was the sandwich itself, or if we were all just so incredibly drunk, tired and hungry that we all believed these were absolutely the best sandwiches EVER. When we were done, we all passed out among the lettuce, bread crumbs and tarter sauce covering the floor and the beds.

I woke up an hour later to my ever faithful, ever present subwoofer. My god man -- do they ever sleep??!!

SLEEP-o-METER: Operating on 22 hours and 20 minutes sleep over 6 days

Arrived at Ultra before it opened... somewhere around 10am. Did some work setting up with Formula PR until about 2pm.

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Where to begin... Underworld (live), Rabbit in the Moon (live), Oakenfold, Sasha & Digweed, PVD, Tiesto, The Streets (live), Pete Tong, DJ Dan, Sandra Collins, Goldie, Electric Skychurch, George Acosta, Christopher Lawrence, Timo Maas, Josh Wink, Junkie XL (live), Adam Freeland, Uberzone (live), Roni Size, DJ Craze vs. Adam F, Dara vs Dieselboy, Max Graham, Seb Fontaine, Sander Klienenberg, Hybrid (live), Mauro Picotto and about 50 others worth mentioning.

I dunno 'bout you, but I haven't ever seen a lineup like this in the U.S., and I doubt the thousands of other folks out at Bayfront Park with me had either. Surprisingly enough, although there were an immense amount of people there, the festival grounds were spread out over quite a bit of area, so it didn't feel annoyingly crowded, and there was very little sound bleed from stage to stage. And despite the city's concerns and the breakout of war in Iraq during the conference which equaled a heightened terrorism threat, the local authorities and event security were relatively easy going and didn't seem to offer the usual amount of harassment.

This was an amazing day of heart-warmingly great music from some of the most talented electronic music acts in the world. Underworld, of course, stood out as the highlight of the festival.

At one point during the day, the sky opened up, as if we had all been performing a sacred, tribal rain dance, and poured beautiful, heavenly tears down on us. And as sure as I danced there in the sticky heat of the day, surrounded by 30,000 of my very wet and closest friends, I thought of them and the thousands of other people who had attended the 252 parties throughout the last week and simply chuckled to myself in defiant bliss, "... and they say our scene is dead."

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Ultra ended around 1-2am. Cabbed it back to the hotel. where I started to pack. Couldn't really finish - I was too damn tired. Passed out around 3am.

Sunday, March 23
Woke up at 4am to the infernal hum of subwoofers.

SLEEP-o-METER: Operating on 23 hours and 20 minutes over 7 days. (That's an average of 3.5 hours a day, people.)

Finished packing. Said my goodbyes to the sleeping Brian & Rich. Grabbed all my shit and went downstairs, where I grabbed a cab to the Amtrak station.